True Colors?

     I've spent the last week experimenting with my camera and it doesn't matter what I do, I'm not getting true colors. It's driving me crazy. I've tried every option on the little dial thingy and nothing works. I've tried taking photos in every room of the house looking for the best light. It's still not giving me what I want. I was ready to chuck the dam thing out the window.

Feeling Rather Fragile Today

     A few weeks ago a fellow writer from The Other Side Of Sixty wrote an article called "Copper." It was about an old-timer being moved from his apartment to a home. He could no longer take care of himself. The story was rather poignant and it made you realize that someday, that could be me or you. It was sad but life is what it is. This week that story unfolded right before my eyes and I have to tell you, I'm feeling rather fragile today.

I Have A Dream

     Over the past two years, I've been working on a website for an online store of my own. I made myself a promise to have it up and running by the time I turned 65. That date is quickly approaching. I have good ideas of what I want but trying to implement them has not been easy. I have a dream but it's all locked up in this foggy brain of mine. Each and every step is a learning curve. 

I Want To Be Fabulous

     Another rain day. This is starting to get monotonous. Mike and I have been trying to get out to the bush for a day but all this rain keeps holding us back. I know we need it. The lakes are all so low because of the drought we had this past summer. Oh well, there's nothing that can be done so I'll have to find something else to occupy my time this afternoon.

I Have Arrived, I Am Home

      It's hard to believe it's been a little over two months since I last wrote anything. Life is finally getting back to normal and I've had such an urge to get back here. When I'm not writing I always feel sort of disjointed, not quite complete. But I have arrived, I am home.

3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths

     Well, it's been a stressful few weeks. I had no idea how bad the housing crisis was in Elliot Lake. It came right down to the wire. By the time housing got back to us they had only two townhouses left and one was way out of my budget. We rented the one that was left but we had to take it for the first of September or they wouldn't be able to hold it for us.

Rough Roads Ahead

     It's Friday the 13th. I didn't realize it until I started writing. I'm not superstitious so it doesn't bother me in any way. What is interesting is the fact that it's Friday the 13th, it's also a New Moon tonight and for the first time in over a month, we are having some much-needed rain. Very auspicious.

     Life is starting to settle down a bit but I know there will be more rough roads ahead before this move is complete in September. Now that I've finally taken steps to look at places I'm feeling a bit more settled. I know what my options are and I'm moving forward regardless of the outcome. I can't control what is happening but I can make the best choices available to me to make sure the end result gives us what we need.

Self-Sabotage

     The last two weeks have been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. Life came along and decided it was my turn to have a curve ball thrown into the middle of my perfect life. The idea of having to move again devastated me, after all, we have only been in this little house ten months and now the landlord wants to sell. I just couldn't see a way around the brick wall in my head. I stopped eating properly, I stopped exercising and basically wallowed in self-pity. This is what I call self-sabotage. Not a good place to be.

Old Age Ain't No Place For Sissies

      I haven't been around for the last couple of weeks. Life has thrown us another curve ball and I let it take over every waking moment of my days. My nights haven't been great either. I lay in bed wondering what the hell are we going to do now?

      We're moving again. I was praying that the last move would be long term but the landlord has decided to sell the house. He's asking way too much for the property and financially we just aren't prepared to buy. We love it here in Spanish but we've learned over the last year that it cost us too much to live here, away from all the amenities. Staying here in Spanish would be financial suicide for us. We need to be closer to the things we need such as doctors, stores, and friends. We've decided to move back to Elliot Lake.

Time Management For Retirees

     It's Friday. For some of you, this is a reason to celebrate. The week is almost over and you finally get some downtime. As for me, I'm retired and every day is the weekend.

     I never realized I would be this busy as a retiree. There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs to be done. I am enjoying myself but I do need to find a way to get some organization in my life. I seem to run from one task to another without getting anything fully completed or I get so immersed in one item that I forget there are other things that have to be done. I'll have to work on this.

I'll Do Whatever It Takes

     I thought yesterday was going to turn out a complete wash but with a bit of determination and the use of the internet, I was able to turn it around to a small success.

     A friend gave us a lawn mower that he now has no use for. It's fairly new but I'll be damned if I could get it started. I was ready to give it up and take it in for repairs. Another $100 that I didn't have but the lawn was in desperate need of mowing. I asked my neighbour about repairmen in the area and told him what was going on. He suggested a few things I could try and I decided to give it my best.

Don't Make It Complicated

     I had to go into town for shopping and a dental appointment and I ran into an old friend. We go back almost 30 years but we don't get to see each other very often anymore. I know I should make more of an effort to stay in contact but like everyone else, my life is quite busy and so is hers. We sat on the tailgate of the van and talked for about an hour. It was a good visit and it was great to catch up.

     Yesterday on messenger she contacted me again. She proceeded to tell me how great I was looking and wanted to know what I was doing. I told her about my exercise plan and healthy eating. Her answer to me, "I should be doing that too but it's all so hard. I really don't know how to get started." I realized at that moment there are probably a lot of people out there who just don't know how to get started. They want more in their life but where do they begin? A word of advice, "Don't make it complicated."

Week 4 Workout results

    Week 4 didn't go as well as expected but I did manage to drop 2-1/2 pounds. Unfortunately, I gained back another pound because of traveling. I haven't mastered how to order when you have to eat in restaurants or roadside stands. The little town of Spanish is in the middle of nowhere so any time you have a doctor's appointment you have to travel 1 - 2 hours. Then if you include wait times once you arrive and shopping because you're in the city, you're usually gone for a minimum of six hours. This week we had appointments two days in a row in two different cities. It does play havoc with your exercise routine and your healthy diet. But, today I'm back at it.

My First Blessing Of The Day

     I heard from an old friend yesterday and it was a wonderful surprise. My first blessing of the day.

     L and I go back to 1991 when I had first started dating Michael. It was her wedding. She was so excited, she was marrying the man of her dreams or so she thought. Over the years I learned that L was always in a state of excitement. It was part of her nature. When she wasn't excited about something she fell into severe depressions. There was never any in-between times for her.

Week 3 Workout Results

     I'm not sure yet whether I'm happy about this week's results or not. I finally broke my record and made it to 10k in less than an hour. I gave myself a pat on the back for that one. But, my weight has gone up instead of down. I've worked so hard this week and I do see results but I really wish that number had gone down.

A Busy Summer Ahead

Sauble River, Massey, Ontario, Canada
by: JP Croke ~ 2018

     What a glorious day out there. I need to find some time today to just go out and enjoy it. I sometimes get so wrapped up in the projects I'm working on that I don't take the time to go out and savour the beauty of what's happening around me. It's a beautiful world we live in and time in nature is never wasted time.

I Don't Sugar Coat Shit

     Well, apparently I'm pissing off a few people on social media. It never occurred to me that someone would find my posts offensive, not that I really care anyway. Most people that know me also know I'm pretty straightforward. I'm not one to sugar coat anything. I don't try to go out of my way to insult or offend others but I guess I have. Will I apologize for it? Hell no.

     When I post to my social media page, I do it for my enjoyment. It is my page. The quotes I post are for me. I use them to pick up my spirits when I'm down. I use them to help keep me motivated when I don't want to exercise. I use them to keep me focused when building my website is driving me crazy. If they help others for the same reason, excellent. But, I didn't post them to hurt or offend anyone else.

Week 2 Workout Results

Weight - 166 lbs

Date	Heart	Cal	Time	Km	Weight
May 03	140	291	31m	5.69
May 04	145↑	298↑	32m↑	5.78↑
May 05	Off →
May 06	Off →
May 07	144↓	323↑	36m↑	6.19↑	164.2↓
May 08	147↑	357↑	39m↑	6.92↑	163.2↓
May 09	145↓	364↑	40m↑	7.00↑	164.0↑

Heart rate average 144.2

Total calories burned 1633

Total time spent 178 minutes

Total kilometers 30.86 km

Weight loss 2 lbs

Planning For Your Retirement

     The last few days have been uneventful. Living in this sleepy little town doesn't give you much in the way of entertainment or excitement. My brain at the moment is stuck in park and I'm not sure if I actually have anything to write about today. Finding things to keep you busy my dear friends is one of the drawbacks of being retired. I am so thankful I have hobbies to turn to.

     When I decided to retire I really hadn't planned it all out. All I could focus on was not having to go to my humdrum job anymore. It didn't take me long before I figured out I would need something to keep me occupied. I had always had a love for knitting and sewing but I still needed more to round out my day. You can only do so much knitting before even that gets boring. I needed more. I craved more. I found myself stagnating and on my way into depression. Not a nice place to be.

It's Another Rainy Day

     It looks like it's going to be another gloriously lazy day. The rain is coming down so hard I can hardly see the house across the road. The sump pump goes off every 30 minutes and has the cats totally freaked out. They keep running down to the basement to investigate the noise. On days like this, I am so grateful to be retired.

      Today is the perfect day to start a new project. I finished a men's scarf last night and I just love the look of it. Today I think I'll start one for the ladies. I may put a split in this one so it can be pulled through to be used as an infinity scarf. The biggest challenge is always the color. I love heathers and moss colors. All the naturals and I don't have much of that left now. Maybe today I'll put in an order to Herrschners and resupply my inventory. It's been a while and it's not like it will go to waste.

Back At It Again

     Well, I've been off any form of strenuous activity since Monday but today I'm back at it. It was a bit of a downer not being able to exercise after I just started up again. But dental health fits right in there with getting it all together. I put it off way too long and now I'm paying the price. Won't do that again.

Putter Days

     It's raining here today. The perfect day for slow things like reading and maybe a nap later. There's a hush all around me with only the sound of the falling rain. The odd car rumbles past the house on the old dirt road but that just adds to the ambiance of the rain. I love rainy days. A chance to sit back and do absolutely nothing with no guilt.

     I know not everyone is as lucky as I am right at this minute. There are some that still have to get up and go to work or school but me, I'm retired. I can take advantage of these slow times and just sit back and do nothing. I get to choose which days I want to go out and brave the world. Being retired can be a good thing on days like this. I plan on taking full advantage of the whole day by not making any plans. It will be a putter day.

Every Day Is The Weekend

     I've come to learn over the years that you need to learn to go with the flow. Some things you just can't do anything about so you should always have a "Plan B". I started my workouts last week and this week I have had to put them on hold for 48 hours. I had to have some major dental work done yesterday and I was ordered not to do anything strenuous for the next few days. There is absolutely nothing I can do about this except watch what I eat and take it easy. I can get some writing done. I can work on my Ancestry. And I can work on my craft projects; Plan B. Life is to short to worry about the things you can't do but there is always something you can do.

Health & Fitness ~ Day 1

     I started working out again yesterday. I don't have any kind of routine yet but I'll work on that later today. For now, I'm riding my stationary bike and getting in some cardio. It's one way to at least lose a few pounds and get stronger.

     I can't believe how much weight I have accumulated in the last seven months. It just goes to show you how fast being fit can reverse itself. I think it also has something to do with our age. I think the older we become the slower our metabolism becomes. One thing I do appreciate is the fact that muscle has memory so getting back in shape will just take determination and focus.

Ain't No Place For Sissies

     A few days ago a friend called just to have a chit chat and catch up. It was good to hear from her, it had been a while. Texting isn't my thing. I can't imagine having whole conversations texting on your phone. I'll take the easy route any day, verbal conversation. Face to face interaction. I like to see the person I'm speaking with or at least hear their voice. You can tell a lot about a person by the look on their face or the sound of their voice. You know if they're happy or not feeling up to par. You know if their angry or upset. Putting a little smiley face at the end of a text message does not guarantee that the person is in fact happy. I prefer some form of human contact. That's a whole other story and I'm getting off track.

The Sound of Silence

     Today is a glorious day. It's a bit overcast outside but I don't care. Today I have the house all to myself except for the cats. These are my favorite kind of days. It's so peaceful and the silence is a breath of fresh air. My house is pretty quiet most days but today I have the house all to myself. The other two occupants are gone to town for the day. I cherish these days. Today the silence falls over me like a warm, soft blanket.

Patrick Pine Is My Father

     Years ago I joined Ancestry and it's been quite the ride. It all started when I decided to find out more about my biological father, Patrick Pine. I never met the man. All I knew was he was an Ojibway Native from Cutler, Ontario. My Mom refused to speak about him and the rest of her family kept quiet. I always felt that it was a dirty little secret that stained the Mousseau name. It wasn't the fact that my mother married a Native man that brought shame to the family. It was because my mother had two children while she was married to him that were not his. There's a name for that.

Slightly Strange

     I'm feeling quite happy about my decision to use my blog as my journal. It's been a long time coming and I really don't understand why I didn't do it sooner. I was trying way to hard to follow all the so called rules from other bloggers. You have to have a niche. Your posts shouldn't be to short. Your posts shouldn't be to long. The list goes on and on. Who wants a plain white page because that looks more professional, when your creative side wants color and whimsy. Screw it. My readers will get what I like. I don't want my blog to look like everyone else's, I want it to be mine, a wee bit weird. I've been told all my life I'm different so why should I change now. I like the way I am. On a good day I can make people laugh. On a bad day I can make them cower in the corner or run for cover.

Daily Journal

     I spent a lot of time pondering my question from Tuesday, "Do I really want to put my journal posts online?" Well why the hell not? I don't have hundreds of readers coming in to read my words of wisdom. The important question is, "Do I care?" Not really. I'm going to write everyday regardless of whether someone comes in to read it or not.

Over Here @ Crazy Lady Lane

     I've seriously been wondering if I actually have what it takes to be a writer. I don't know how many blogs I've started and then abandoned. Writing in my journal everyday is one thing but a full out blog, I just don't know. I don't want to put my journal online. That would be so boring. Who wants to hear about the life and times of some old doll living in northeastern Ontario. Come on lets face it, my days are not filled with daily adventures and exciting moments. I'm really quite ordinary. Oh every now and then I get a bee in my bonnet but those times are few and far between. I have to admit, over here at Crazy Lady Lane, there isn't much happening. Basically it's pretty boring.

You Are Not Alone

     The day has barely started and I can already see where this is going. I didn't fall asleep until after 4:00 am and then I woke up at 7:15 all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Here it is 9:30 and now I'm ready for bed. This is going to be a long day. I had so many plans for this weekend. One short trip to the city yesterday and today I'm toast.

     As you can tell I'm not a city person. When I go to the city I would much rather park the car and take a bus to where I need to go. Thank the powers that be I have my own personal chauffeur. The hustle and bustle drives me crazy. The stupidity drives me around the bend.