Self-Sabotage

     The last two weeks have been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. Life came along and decided it was my turn to have a curve ball thrown into the middle of my perfect life. The idea of having to move again devastated me, after all, we have only been in this little house ten months and now the landlord wants to sell. I just couldn't see a way around the brick wall in my head. I stopped eating properly, I stopped exercising and basically wallowed in self-pity. This is what I call self-sabotage. Not a good place to be.

     I have spent the last 14 days going over and over our budget trying to squeeze a few pennies from here and there. I needed to find a way to make the budget fit around another move. It was constantly going around and around in my head.  

     I thought the problem was overwhelming and forgot to focus on the solution. I couldn't figure out where the money was going when the budget said it should be there. I decided to take the last three months of bank statements and do an itemized check of where we were losing money. Well, let me tell you I was in total shock. I couldn't believe how much money was going out in gas. Almost triple of what we had budgeted for. It was an eye-opener. And that wasn't the only item that was costing us more. Once I was done with my check I realized again, that living so far from town had cost us so much more than we expected. For us, it was financial suicide.

     So here I thought life was screwing me over again and it wasn't. It was actually trying to tell me to get my shit together and get the hell out of here. Now that I know where the money is going, I realize we can afford to live in a townhouse in Elliot Lake and we will, in fact, save money.

     So what have I learned from all of this? Never, ever let anything slide. Regardless of what is happening in your life stay on top of the things you can control. I can control what is happening to our money. I can control how much I pay for extras like internet and phone by doing some research and asking questions. I can take charge of my health and keep my body strong. And by continuing to exercise and eat right, I can stay focused on what is important. 

     So today is Sunday, July 8th and I'm back and ready to do battle.